Monday, January 16, 2012

Is My Life Falling Apart?

When you live with chronic pain, lots of things change. You can no longer do the things you used to do or the way you used to. You have to make accommodations in your life. You find yourself saying no when you want to say yes. Some might feel like their life is falling apart.

I thought about this idea of my life falling apart and wondered what is actually falling apart. I really had to think about it. I realized it was things like my plans/dreams for having a baby that are halted (and likely won't be as easy with the pain and needing to be off medications), my everyday plans and social events that get pushed aside because I'm in pain and need to rest, not feeling like I can do my job well (and the unknown of whether the migraine will ultimately take my job from me), gaining weight and not being able to work out like I used to.

I realized that all of these things were about me. It's what I wanted. They were my (selfish) plans. What has not changed and what has not fallen apart is God's faithfulness. He has always been there and will always be here. So how can I say my life is falling apart? It was never my life to begin with.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with You above the storm.
Father, you are King over the flood,
I will be still and know You are God.

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